Stay at home Mom...

Why I still keep choosing to stay at home?

My 28 month old is sick. He is often sick when he goes to classes where he interacts with other kids. 

Hasn't been able to sleep and spent all night clinging to my tummy and semi recumbent to grab some sleep. He has been throwing up and miserable all day. My husband hasn't been able to take time off the office and feels bad about it. I am sick and miserable too. At this point, if I worked and the kind of profession I belong to, I would have had similar work home conflicts. With a high pressure job. Who would have let me go off such high responsibility jobs for a week or so often to help my son recover. Which day care or nanny would have been so understanding and soothing to a cranky, crying and sick child to this extent? (they also don't take sick kids in) He is miserable and doesn't understand why he feels so uncomfortable right now. But he knows that holding on to mommy makes a hell lot of difference in how he feels, he feels assured that I am there for him, come what may happen. When I fall sick, there is no one by my side, leaving everything else for me, which I understand. But I don't want that for my child, at least not so early in life. I had my mother by my side on those needy sick days, it made a lot of difference. I want to be with my son  when he needs me emotionally, physically and mentally. There are many such occasions where I don't want to leave him on his own to figure out this mean mean and tough world, at least not now when he is just a toddler. So many times when I try to push him in the crowd of other kids, he looks back to me for assurance. If I am not around, he gets anxious, his behaviour changes, which concerns me. I know what anxiety and depression does to you, and I want to give my son some time to deal with his anxieties with me by his side. It is my personal choice to stay at home, so that I can ensure my son has the security he needs at this age. Every child is different and mine is too. I understand and accept that. I chose to leave financial stability, professional aspirations, at least for now, and add to to my own stress, the title of unemployed, just to see that smile on my son's face when he finds me in a crowd with anxiety of being lost. He has some genuine concerns when it comes to other kids and adults, he is vocal about it and I try help him out. He asks about his father many times during the day and asks him to come back home. I didn't  want to add myself in that list of missing people. One of us has to be with him. Not all kids need this kind of support but mine needs it and I am glad that I am with him, at east now when he needs me. Not parents are lucky enough to be able to give the time their child needs during their initial years. And kudos to the working parents for being so brave and provide financial security for your child. If I had do that, I would have been miserable in office everyday and would have cried all the time, or may be not. But right now I don't have to courage to leave him on his own for 8-9 hours but one day he will be ready to fly away, and I will have tears of joy. I always thought I will give that time to my child and I am lucky that I have the resources to support me in my pursuit. Thank you my dear husband for letting me by our son's side. I am sure he will grow up to be a strong human being, physically, mentally and emotionally.